The Art of Solo Et: Finding Power and Peace in Your Own Company

In an era of constant connectivity, where smartphones buzz with notifications and social media feeds never stop scrolling, a quiet counter-movement is gaining momentum. It goes by many names, but one phrase capturing this cultural shift is solo et .

But what does “solo et” actually mean? The term is a modern linguistic blend. “Solo,” from the Italian and Latin solus, means “alone” . The “et” is the Latin word for “and.” However, its contemporary usage goes beyond a literal translation. It has evolved to represent the art of embracing solitude not as a state of loneliness, but as an opportunity for self-discovery, creativity, and personal growth . It is the “and”—the addition of something valuable to your life through the intentional practice of being alone.

The Solitude Paradox in a Connected World

We live with a paradox. On one hand, we are more “connected” than ever. On the other, we are spending more time physically alone. Statistics show that rates of living alone have nearly doubled in the past 50 years, and more people are dining and traveling solo . This has led to public health concerns about a “loneliness epidemic.”

However, experts are now drawing a crucial distinction between loneliness—the distressing feeling that our social needs are unmet—and solitude—a voluntary state of being alone that can be deeply beneficial . A 2024 survey found that 56% of Americans consider alone time essential for their mental health . This is the heart of solo et: it is the conscious choice to step away from the noise to reconnect with oneself.

The Proven Benefits of Solo Et

The philosophy of solo et is not just a trend; it’s backed by a growing body of psychological research. Spending quality time alone can have profound effects on our well-being.

• Stress Reduction and Emotional Deactivation: Studies have found that just 15 minutes of solitude can have a calming effect, lowering high-arousal emotions like anxiety and excitement and increasing feelings of calmness . This emotional “deactivation” helps us reset and regulate our mood .
• Freedom and Authenticity: Without the social pressure to perform or behave in a certain way, solitude frees us to be our authentic selves. Research shows that on days when people choose to spend time alone, they feel less controlled and more autonomous .
• A Boost to Creativity: Solitude provides the mental space for creativity to flourish. A study during a strict COVID-19 lockdown found a significant increase in “everyday” creativity among participants, suggesting that uninterrupted alone time can spark new ideas .
• Improved Focus and Self-Discovery: In solitude, we can dive deep into projects or hobbies without distraction . More importantly, it provides an opportunity for introspection, helping us connect with our emotions, values, and desires, leading to greater self-awareness .

True Solo Et vs. The Digital Illusion

A critical caveat to the benefits of solitude is the quality of that time. As psychologist Virginia Thomas notes, scrolling through social media or headlines “is not technically ‘in solitude,’ as we would describe it psychologically” .

True solo et requires turning our attention inward, not outward toward a screen . While social media is, by definition, social, it often prevents the deep reflection that makes solitude nourishing. To truly benefit from solo et, we must disconnect from devices and engage in activities that allow us to be present with ourselves .

How to Practice Solo Et: A Practical Guide

Embracing solo et is a skill that can be cultivated. Here are some ways to incorporate it into your life:

1. Start Small with Micro-Moments: You don’t need a weekend retreat to find solitude. Experts suggest taking “micro-moments” throughout your day—a solo lunch break, a quiet walk, or even just 15 minutes with a cup of coffee before the family wakes up .
2. Find Your “Public Solitude”: If being completely alone feels daunting, try “public solitude.” Go to a park, a library, or a coffee shop. Being alone in the presence of others can be a comforting first step .
3. Engage in a Solo Activity: Choose an activity you love that doesn’t involve anyone else. Read a book, journal, paint, garden, or take a walk in nature . The key is to do it for yourself, without external pressure.
4. Reframe Your Mindset: The stigma of being alone can be powerful. Instead of viewing it as “isolation,” think of it as “me time.” This simple linguistic shift can help you perceive your alone time more positively and as a choice, not a punishment .
5. Practice “Companionate Solitude”: This is a beautiful way to be alone, together. It involves being in the presence of a loved one without the need for interaction—like reading in the same room or sitting quietly together in nature .

The Future of Solo Et

As our world becomes only more digital and demanding, the need for intentional solitude will likely grow. Solo et is not about rejecting social connection; it’s about finding a healthy balance. Just as we need connection with others, we need connection with ourselves .

By embracing solo et, we learn that being alone doesn’t have to mean being lonely. It can be a powerful practice of self-care, a catalyst for creativity, and a path to a more authentic and resilient self. It is in the quiet moments with ourselves that we often hear the loudest truths.